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November 30, 2006

Just breathe...

Part of me had always known that I've been too busy for my own good.

Hmm... let me rephrase that: I know that I've been really busy, but I didn't realize how much that busy-ness had affected my life and personality until very recently. While stalking various Xangas, one entry made me pause and reflect about myself:

"Sure, I'm friendly to people... but have I really been investing time in people? Have I really been making the effort to reach out and communicate with others?"

To my dismay and shame, I realized the answer was: no. Typically, I would just greet people, perhaps exchange some small talk, then return to my busy little world.

Part of me tries to rationalize my behavior by saying that when I sense that a person is troubled or needs a listening ear - in other words, "worthy of my precious time," then I definitely would make time for that person. But that's completely the wrong attitude! How can I be the light and salt that Jesus calls me to be if I selectively choose who to share that light with?

I know that I need to be more disciplined in getting enough rest (~3-4 hours just doesn't cut it...) and spending more time with Him!

Father in Heaven, forgive me for not aligning my life with your will! Help me to become a humble servant who will patiently wait on you and love others as you do, instead of serving in the flesh!
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One of the other tell-tale signs that I haven't been getting enough rest is when my face starts breaking out! Even more reason to get more rest! Ugh... haha. =(

I've been listening to more Hawaiian music lately... here's a classic one by Iz (Israel Kamakawiwo'ole): Over the Rainbow. Thanks AC! =)

Posted by stevelee at 03:59 PM | Comments (1)

November 21, 2006

Random Acts of Praise

Thank you Jesus for teaching and showing me what true love is! Thank you for being so faithful and good to me - despite my shortcomings - all the time! =D

I pray that you will continue humbling and teaching me your ways, o Lord!

Posted by stevelee at 05:19 PM | Comments (2)

November 19, 2006

Wayne's surprise birthday party

I went down some other folks from church to throw Wayne a surprise birthday party tonight. Sad to say, but that was the first time I had seen him and his family since helping them move... but it definitely was great spending time with them again! I missed all of them so much... =)

It was such a blessing to hear in person how the Lord's been leading their family, especially in their recent experiences... and even though it wasn't intentional (or directed at me), I got some relationship advice/confirmation from Wayne: that the person I enter into a romantic relationship with should share similar convictions. It can't be the case where say, only 1 person has a heart for cross-cultural missions... that will eventually just lead to conflict...

In a sense, hearing that was both a challenge yet very freeing at the same time... =)

Posted by stevelee at 10:32 PM | Comments (0)

November 18, 2006

Thanksgiving Retreat

Having missed last year's Thanksgiving retreat, I really wasn't sure what to expect this year. While driving down to the site early in the morning, I started reminiscing about my first retreat... about how painfully shy I felt then, so I practically hid myself by keeping busy helping with various things... about how Pastor Wayne really made the effort to connect with me...

I arrived just in time to join the combined congregations for worship, and that truly was a blessing! I couldn't help but feel my spine tingle as I was reminded of the Spirit-led worship overseas in the underground churches there. You could tell that people really were convicted of the words they were singing, and that it wasn't some rote recitation of feel-good lyrics.

The biggest blessing of today's retreat was simply being in and with the community. =) It felt like ages since I was simply able to just come and have fellowship with the body, without having to worry about leading this, preparing that, or doing ABC-XYZ. I spent time with the youth, played with the young ones, and even had the chance to chat with fellow adults. ;P

Today was the first time in a long while where I was just able to relax... and I felt the stress and tiredness melt away, replaced with joy and contentment. It was great just smiling and laughing... and remembering that this is how I used to be... I definitely am thankful for all the areas in which I had the privilege to serve, but today was confirmation beyond a doubt that I need a season of rest and renewal. =)

Praise the Lord for his enduring love and faithfulness!

Posted by stevelee at 10:31 PM | Comments (0)

November 15, 2006

Forever Young

I put up some pictures from Vincci and Jonathan's wedding, which was one of the most fun weddings I've attended! Then again, that really shouldn't come as too much a surprise considering that it was a marriage between a youth pastor and youth worker! ;)

It truly was a blessing and privilege to share and take pictures in this couple's special day!

On a photographical note: I used Canon's DPP (Digital Photo Professional) software instead of Photoshop Raw to convert the RAW images. I'm not sure which I prefer, but I definitely feel more comfortable with Photoshop! I also have to admit that I'm a little dissastisfied with this set of pictures as a whole. I think there are maybe 1-3 images I like, the rest are... ehh. Which I blame on my lack of composition and skills. *sigh*

I highly recommend checking out Manus' photographs for some excellent pictures (and slideshow) of the wedding! After viewing mine of course, so you don't feel as disappointed... haha.

Posted by stevelee at 04:36 PM | Comments (2)

November 05, 2006

Company halloween party

Some pics from last week's company halloween party... =)

Posted by stevelee at 12:01 AM | Comments (0)

November 03, 2006

Walking on eggshells...

Hmm... I wonder what my team thinks of me?

Seems like every time my new developers ask me questions, they always preface it with: "Excuse me Steve? Sorry to bother you, but I have a question..."

Do I seem that intimidating or mean? =( I know that I tend to wear my emotions on my sleeve, so if I'm stressed/busy (which is usually the case...) I tend to look... intense? The last few weeks have been really busy, and that sometimes manifests in terse, impatient responses from me.

Man... now I feel kinda bad. I don't want my team to feel intimidated by me, or feel that they have to be super polite/respectful when interacting with me! Then again, I notice that it's only certain individuals that I'm less patient with... those with a history of "stupid/lazy" problems and unable (or unwilling) to resolve them on their own...

I know... I need to pray for more grace and patience... =)

But on the flip side, maybe it'll help to cut down on the foot traffic and/or the stupid questions! Hahaha... I know, I'm horrible! =P

Posted by stevelee at 04:35 PM | Comments (0)