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September 29, 2006
Hmm...
Just some random observations and thoughts... aka, more random crap: =P
- I notice that I've become very... proper in my blog entries and when I speak in front of large groups. This isn't necessarily a bad thing at all, but sometimes I wonder if I'm getting to the point where I'm becoming too preachy? I'm a big proponent of "keeping it real" - that is, being relatable to people and avoiding "Christian-ese." It's strange... when I'm speaking with someone one-on-one, that's when the passion and the "real-ness" comes out... but here...
Ehh, I dunno. It's not like I'm writing to try and impress anyone... I just want to convey the joy and other emotions I feel, especially in relating how God's affected my life. I write these entries for myself... at least, I think I am. But I just seem to sound... so proper. =) As if I no longer struggle with temptation, insecurity, or anything like that... and that I bask in God's holy presence 24-7! =/
I really am just a simple guy (with lots of flaws) trying to understand God and follow after Jesus... =)
- For most of my life, I've felt closer to my female friends than guy friends. The only people I have ever considered my "best friends" were (are) females. But... I find that slowly changing this past year. I find myself wanting to spend more time with my guy buddies - especially brothers in Christ, with whom we can share our struggles and keep each other accountable. I used to think myself "beyond" needing that accountability - other than the monthly meetings with my mentor, (the man formerly known as Pastor) Wayne - but I think I was just lying to myself. =)
I had an IM conversation with my old (but young in heart and appearance - talk about a GREAT GUY!) buddy Dub the other night... and it felt great just talking about random guy things! I am VERY thankful for this group of high school buddies: John, Dub, Cal, Brian... the whole "OG hoops posse"... we had lots of fun together, did countless stupid things together (haha)... I wish I had invested more in these relationships, but I truly am thankful for them keeping in touch with me, and including me in their activities!
I guess what inspired this thread of thought was the realization that my fellowship doesn't have many guys who are ready to serve in leadership. If and when God calls Sunny and myself to step down, I really don't know who can/will step up in our place. I know that God will take care of this... but at the same time, I feel a burden to encourage/shepherd (whatever you want to call it) the guys...
In the meantime, praise God for all the faithful sisters who are serving! You ladies rock! =)
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On a COMPLETELY unrelated note: looks like the Naruto filler episodes are finally over! Woohoo!!! =D
On another completely unrelated note: I just learned some cool new Photoshop post-processing techniques (new to me, at least!) - now I see how the pros burn/dodge effectively!
If you have the time/interest, Ron Bigelow's site has lots of very good articles which cover technical aspects of photography and post-processing, but includes lots of helpful, detailed examples so you can follow along! Great for Photoshop noobs like me! =)
Posted by stevelee at 10:04 PM | Comments (0)
September 25, 2006
My Summer in Pictures...
First and foremost: a shout-out to my buddy Dub! Keep the faith bro... our time will come! ;)
Perhaps the biggest highlight of the summer would be the incredible privilege and opportunity I had to return to East Asia to serve at an autism center this summer! It's hard to express in a few short sentences - paragraphs, even - the depth of the amazing experiences we had... I would love to tell you about my trip in person though!
All I know is... I can spend all of my life trying to understand how awesome God is, and still never come close to comprehending His majesty and love!
[Please ask me for the link/password to view the pictures =)]
I've also been more involved with the youth... as some of you know, I'm teaching a course on global missions. I wanted to share my passion for serving God overseas... really, to share God's heart for the nations. But, I'm starting to think (realize?) that I suck as a teacher. One-on-one discipler or small group leader/shepherd - by God's grace - sure... teacher? Maybe not. I feel bad... almost as if I let down God and my class. *sigh* =( Please pray for my class and me!
Anyway... here are some snapshots from this past weekend's BAAYF post-camp rally... I'm so encouraged and thankful for our youth! =)
I also got to brush off the dust collecting on my hockey gear this past weekend and shoot around with some friends! I almost forgot how much I still enjoy (and miss) playing hockey!
Posted by stevelee at 12:30 AM | Comments (2)
September 22, 2006
Let's go Oakland!!!
Magic Number: 7 6 5 4 2 0!!!
Nuff said! BEAT LA!!! Just win, already!
The real question is: will the A's choke in the post-season as always? =(
Woohoo, A's clinch the AL West!!!
Posted by stevelee at 11:42 PM | Comments (2)
Pictures!
Finally finished working on some pictures I took at my cousin's wedding last month... =)
I picked up this bad boy today... hehe. Now that I finally have a quality wide-angle lens, all I need to do is replace my stolen telephoto lens and I'll be set for photography equipment for a long while! =)
First impressions of the 17-55mm f/2.8 lens: very fast-focusing and quiet, even under dim lighting conditions! Excellent color saturation and adequate sharpness (a tad softer than I'd like, especially when compared to my old 70-200mm f/2.8 L lens).
[Just re-read the review... the reviewer also noted that the lens didn't seem as sharp when shooting close subjects.]
I'll post some pics I took from tonight's dinner for the graduating high school seniors when I can. =)
Posted by stevelee at 01:41 AM | Comments (1)
September 21, 2006
In search of significance
At first, I was going to share a long testimony - of how I was your stereotypical Asian-American type A high school student (high grades, high test scores, sports, musical instruments, blah blah blah), then became a slacker in college (partied and played video games all the time... yet somehow managed to graduate and get recruited by med schools)...
But, I think I'll just fast forward to this: no matter how high my scores were, how much I partied, how much I made, or even how much I volunteered... none of that was able to fill the deep void in my life.
It wasn't until my faith in God became real - and I understood why Jesus Christ sacrificed himself for us - that I finally began to experience peace and satisfaction. Years of bitterness, emotional scars and frustration began to slowly and painfully wash away as I prayed for God's healing in my life, and as I tried to understand and follow after Christ.
Being Christian doesn't mean I'm free from sin, temptation, worry or anything bad. However, I do know that no matter what happens, God watches over me and loves/blesses me... no matter how far I may stray from Him. God has demonstrated countless times (some of which were unexplainable circumstances) that if I continue faithfully obeying and surrendering my rights to Him, then He will provide for ALL of my needs.
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." - Matthew 11:28-29
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." - Isaiah 41:10
Posted by stevelee at 12:09 AM | Comments (0)
September 16, 2006
Random shouts of praise
It has been a huge blessing in every aspect to serve as a small group leader this past year-plus. Sure, there were challenging, stressful times when I questioned whether I should remain serving... and contemplated stepping down. But in hindsight, I believe God used these experiences to humble and remind me of how He is the true source of my strength and wisdom - that the tougher things became, the more desperately I needed to cling to Him!
Moreover, it truly has been a blessing to be able to care for and encourage/exhort my small group! It is my blessing and privilege to journey with these awesome people and see how God's working in their life, and drawing them closer to Him! It's to God's glory when I can have one-on-one time with each person to connect with him/her, encourage and pray for them... and watch their faith (as well as mine!) grow as their prayers are answered!
Of course, from a humanistic point of view, it feels good when I hear former small group members say how much they miss being in my small group! Hehe. ;) (Lord, it's you that draws us close together... keep me humble and focused on being in your presence!)
Starting next Sunday, I'll be teaching a 4 month long class to our church's youth on global missions... I praise God for the opportunity to share and encourage the youth with something I'm passionate about! I pray that the youth come to understand God's heart for the nations, and really have their faith ignited!
I still feel that the Lord is calling me to serve overseas... but until that time, by God's grace, I will continue serving and caring/shepherding those around me. =)
Thank you God - you are good, all the time!
Posted by stevelee at 02:17 AM | Comments (2)
September 12, 2006
Absurdity happens...
These past 2 days have been ridiculous... I'm not a good story teller, so these vignettes are probably more of those "you had to be there" kind of moments. =)
On Sunday, I arrive at church around my typical time - an hour before service - to prepare the coffee and such for the cafe time. When I find that my cardkey doesn't work, I head over to the sanctuary and find an older lady from the Cantonese congregation waiting outside. Luckily, my cardkey still works for the sanctuary so I open the door and invite her inside to escape the chill morning air.
We wait inside... I try making some small talk with my broken Cantonese (I really need to stop trying so hard... that's when I get more nervous speaking. Ugh.) a few times, which quickly trails off into a comfortable silence. As the minutes pass by, I start wondering where everyone is. Usually someone is at the sanctuary by now, whether it be the worship team, or well... anyone!
As I glance back outside and note the continued quietness, for the briefest of moments, the most irrational thought pops into my head: "Have we been left behind?!?!"
I give the nice grandma-figure a subtle, quick glance. "Hmm... she seems like a nice lady with a mature relationship with God... we were just talking about how God will provide a new English congregation pastor... she wouldn't be left behind (along with me), right??"
After pre-service prayer with Kaili, I shared what "happened" earlier... to which she immediately laughed and exclaimed: "How could you not be sure about where you're going??"
Yeah... sometimes I amaze myself with the sheer absurdity and ridiculousness of my thoughts. =P
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Tonight, I was peacefully catching up on some anime - enjoying a blessedly rare relaxing night, and preparing to sleep. Then inexplicably, I start sneezing... but instead of passing, the sneezing gets increasingly violent! At first, I thought I had a bad allergy attack; but with each subsequent sneeze, I felt my throat burn more and more. I blew my nose repeatedly, expecting to see blood or something since my throat felt really raw!
When I started having difficulty breathing, that irrational little voice came back and wondered: "Are we under biological attack or something? But why the HECK would terrorists target US???"
At this point, I hear my mom sneezing and choking violently too, so I run around the house to check on my brother. I hear him sneezing and gagging in the bathroom downstairs and ask if he's OK. At some point, he confesses what happened: apparently, seeing my bottle of bear spray lying around made him curious as to how it worked... so he sprayed some into the backyard... nearly incapacitating himself and the rest of the family in the process.
So, moral of the story: bear spray works, and it's quite effective on humans! ;)
(Needless to say, no one was amused at the time... in fact, it's almost 2 hours later and my throat still kinda hurts!)
Posted by stevelee at 01:34 AM | Comments (0)
September 09, 2006
Small world...
Today, Flo, Kalam and I had the opportunity to share about our autism trip with some of our supporters. It was great being able to re-live our experiences together as a team (minus Anna, Janice, Kaili and Tiff - we missed you!), and pray with the people who came today!
I'm constantly amazed by how small of a world we live in, especially now that internet access is so prevalent! Linda previously made the comment that there couldn't be more than 2 degrees of separation between every Chinese person in the Bay Area... and so far, she seems completely correct!
Sherilyn came out today, and it was cool to see how we were all connected: she served with Kalam on a previous trip to China, her sister was Flo's classmate at Biola, she was my Perspectives partner... and the friends of friends that we knew, etc.
She shared a little about her recent trip to East Asia where she met up with Kalam and Wilma... which was kind of neat, because I had already known about the trip from other people. (Wow, that sentence made no sense!)
I guess where I'm going with this is: as awesome as it is to have fellowship with other believers... it's almost an entirely new level to have fellowship with people who share similar heart and convictions... who are around the same place in their journey with God! My fellow "World Christians!" =)
(Man... this entry was all over the place, haha...)
Posted by stevelee at 05:46 PM | Comments (0)
September 06, 2006
Transitions
"Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow;
Praise Him, all creatures here below;
Praise Him above, ye heav’nly host;
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost."
These definitely are exciting times! God's been setting so many things in motion - within church and outside - and it's truly a blessing to see how I am and will be involved!
It's absolutely no coincidence that the timing of everything coincides with the time that I finally will be out of (credit card) debt! 2 years ago, at WCC, I made the committment to God that I would faithfully serve Him full-time once the debt is paid off.
God has been more than patient, gracious and faithful in preparing me for that time... through serving in ministry and short-term trips, the Lord's shown and blessed me so much - all to demonstrate how He is in control and will provide for all my needs if I will simply step out and serve in faith and obedience!
I'm very eager and excited to serve in the next stage in life that He's already prepared for me! =)
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And on a not completely unrelated note: football season starts this Thursday!!! =D
Posted by stevelee at 01:51 AM | Comments (0)
September 04, 2006
Living as Light
Here are some random pictures from this past weekend's youth leadership conference, courtesy of Nat!
I spent this this past weekend with the rest of the youth ministry for training and bonding... lots of good times, laughs, and food! =)
One of the things that struck me while goofing around with everyone was the fact that... even though I was the oldest (well, next to Uncle Henry and Auntie Carrie ;p), not once did I feel out of place. In fact, I probably was one of the goofiest and most enthusiastic! ;) I guess it helps that God's blessed me with, as Kalam so graciously put it (as she rolled her eyes after I played yet another prank...haha), a very youthful heart. ;p
(And if I may indulge my too-large ego: I have to admit it feels pretty good that so many people continue to guess my age to be in the early-mid 20s! Hahaha... suckas! Ahhh... vanity! Tis but all vanity! =))
I am so humbled and grateful that God's blessed me with the ability to relate to, and connect with, so many people of all ages. People usually seem to feel comfortable around me, and confide their innermost thoughts and secrets with me... I guess even at a young age, God's blessed me with the gift of compassion and service... though I didn't recognize it as such back then. It's so awesome to see how much God has refined me (and how much more refinement I need!) and placed me in positions where He can use the gifts He's given me to encourage others!
I notice that many Christian friends ask me what my goals/plans are... I truthfully respond that I have 2 compelling burdens: east asia, and the youth. I go on to describe specific callings and such. But really, deep down I feel that it doesn't matter where I serve or what I do. All that matters is that I make myself available to be used by God. I have complete faith that His plans are perfect and He knows what's best for me!
Another thing that struck me as I looked around the room during one of our meetings: I felt that these people... this church... has really become my community... my local family in Christ!
(Wow... so much rambling. So much atrocious grammar. Must fix later!)
Posted by stevelee at 02:56 AM | Comments (0)