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May 20, 2006

Coming Full Circle...

"You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand." - Psalm 16:11

During my reflection and quiet time this morning, my longtime insecurities suddenly returned - dissatisfaction with my physical appearance, lack of any distinctive gifts or characteristics, etc. These insecurities had paralyzed me during my childhood and adolescence and really affected my self-esteem.

Perhaps what triggered these long-forgotten insecurities was when a sister (jokingly) called me names the previous night... the same names which made me want to cringe and hide during my younger years: "shorty," "baldy," "chubby," etc. I genuinely laughed with her and at myself at the time, which really made me marvel at how far God had taken me since those dark years.

Confronting these words made me realize how they no longer had a stronghold in my life; they may describe a part of who I am, but do not define who I am.

I lifted all these thoughts to God and praised Him for the healing He brought to my life... I praised Him for placing family and other loved ones in my life whom love/care for me for who I am. Not because I am tall, dark, handsome, smart, rich, or anything like that... but for who I am. As I write these words, I find that I can't convey the depth of wonder, amazement, humility, and thankfulness in my heart... nor how much joy and freedom I find in expressing this! How much greater and unconditional is God's love towards me? Towards all of us?

Father God, you constantly humble and amaze me with the depth of your grace and love. Abba Father, thank you for calling me your own and revealing who I am: I am yours. I pray that my identity forever remain fully rooted in you, Lord! =)

Posted by stevelee at May 20, 2006 12:05 AM

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