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October 01, 2005

Heart of Worship

Tonight, a sister who returned from East Asia gave me a gift from one of my students, Sammy. Since Sammy actually was in another class, I didn't have the opportunity to speak with her much, but I remember her as being extremely sweet and cute (not in THAT way you pervs! >.<). I also remember how she remembered me as having a "funny smile" - as in, I was always doing goofy things and smiling a lot. =)

As I read Sammy's letter and admired the beautiful Chinese calligraphy she had written herself, it was hard not to feel a little emotional. Especially when the letter started off with: "I think you will forget me, so I want to give me [sic] a photo of mine" and ended with "Miss Me!" My initial irrational instinct was to somehow go back to East Asia, for her and the other students.

But it was at that moment that I realized how much more faith and trust I needed to place in God, and in His perfect plan. Who am I, and what can I offer these students? Honestly, nothing.

That still doesn't stop me from hurting inside though... I think I take it hard when I feel like I can't help or be there for people I care about.

My sister explained that she had to talk with Sammy through the school gates because she lived in the school, and would have to apply for special permission ahead of time to go outside. It reminded my sister of visiting a prisoner...

...and in a spiritual way, she is.

It made me realize how much more I need to pray for all the students (and unsaved), and how much more of God's presence I need in my life.

Lord, humble me... I know I am weak, and need to rely on you completely for all things.

Posted by stevelee at October 1, 2005 01:23 AM

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