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October 31, 2005

Trick or treat?

Keeping it real at the company halloween party. ;) I love how people's reactions ranged from disbelief to outright laughter! Haha.

Hey... if you can't laugh at yourself, how can you laugh at other people? ;p

I feel healthy, happy, relaxed and confident... it's amazing what getting a good night's sleep can do! (I wish I could do it more often...)

Posted by stevelee at 09:51 PM | Comments (0)

October 30, 2005

Relationships and Transformation

I've been serving in fellowship as a small group leader for about 2 months now. God's blessed me with a good group that's willing to share and lead the bible study portion, allowing me to concentrate on the relational aspects: getting to know my brothers and sisters better, assessing their spiritual health, and knowing how to encourage and pray for everyone.

I just wish I had more time for people. Having struggled with lonliness and depression, I've always had a special concern for reaching out to those "on the outside looking in" or about to fall through the cracks - to care for and make all feel genuinely welcome.

Perhaps the biggest challenge (besides maintaining my own physical and spiritual health) is learning to be patient and trusting in God to bring change, rather than myself. I strongly feel that our church body, as a whole, does not focus enough on reaching out to the local community (especially non-middle class Chinese), and becoming a transparent family that can bear each other's burdens.

Lately, I find myself praying that God bring about events that will teach the church to become desperate and in need of God... perhaps then, we will learn and understand how to be a blessing to those around us.

Posted by stevelee at 02:10 PM | Comments (0)

October 26, 2005

Philosophy of Photography

"A true photograph need not be explained, nor can it be contained in words." - Ansel Adams

When I admire stunning photographs like the ones in this gallery, I'm reminded of how powerfully expressive photography can be... and how lacking my own work is. I love how Manny uses Photoshop burning and dodging to full effect!

Or rather, how much MORE selective I should be about the photographs I post. ;) I'm constantly torn though between artistic quality (meaning I might display like 1 "good" photo) versus a canvas of event snapshots. People want to see themselves or people they recognize. =)

Anyway, here are some pictures from this past Sunday's... err, Youth Sunday. =)

I can't wait until my flash bracket equipment comes in! Muahahaha...

Posted by stevelee at 11:48 PM | Comments (0)

Tired...

I'm feeling pretty drained lately... and my quiet time with God has suffered. I wish there was enough time to focus on that and the other ministries/activities in my life... but I guess that won't happen until I'm retired or something!

Or at least, until this Perspectives class is finished! =)

Went "ghost hunting" last weekend with Will and some other friends I hadn't seen in a long while... I had fun hanging out with them all, even though no ghosts showed up! ;)
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Recently, our email servers went down and I overheard one of our newer developers exclaim: "How are we supposed to communicate and get our work done??"

Me: "Umm... maybe either use the telephone or walk over?"

Hahaha... I think it's an interesting commentary on today's times; I know I'm also a slave to my email - without it, there's no way I'd get work done or remember anything! =/

I continue feeling blessed at work - in our department meeting, I got praised for working on 3 high profile projects (for 3 of our biggest clients) that resulted in a huge revenue increase.

In typical fashion, I became really shy and flustered. I tried to deflect the praise, but one of the senior managers said: "Steve, just accept the praise!"

Ugh. =)

Posted by stevelee at 07:42 PM | Comments (2)

October 20, 2005

Caffeine good...

...but not at night when it's 2am and you're exhausted but completely wired. =(

I guess I should do something more productive than staring at my laptop, vainly hoping I'd get bored enough to fall asleep, haha.

Oh sweet! I think my exhaustion is finally starting to break through the caffeine-induced high! Gnite, suckas!
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(1 hour later) Sweet, a new episode of Bleach!! (If you've watched Rurouni Kenshin and liked the Kyoto series, you'll love Bleach!)

(30 minutes later) Sigh... another painful cliffhanger, grr... I hate this "to be continued" crap! Worse, now I'm wide awake again! Doh!

Posted by stevelee at 01:46 AM | Comments (0)

October 15, 2005

Global Awareness Conference

As much fun as I had at the company offsite these past few nights, tonight's Global Awareness Conference at my church reminded me of how empty all of that is compared to the joy and fulfillment of worshipping God (this isn't limited to just singing and such) with my brothers and sisters!

I don't know if it was the awesome worship team that set the tone, or listening to our guest missionary's sharing and challenge, but it felt so great and uplifting to be in God's presence with a community of believers.

On a totally random note, I had a great time acting in our play tonight. The latent ham in me loves acting, I guess. =)

God's timing amazes me. Recently, I started getting tempted by the desire to settle into a comfortable, complacent life. I thought about buying a house, and even started questioning the importance of me finding a significant other whom shared my beliefs.

Tonight brought me back to reality, and reminded me of the promise I made to faithfully serve God. Perhaps He'll still call me to serve in the local community, but I know that it's my faithfulness and desire to serve and worship God that matters the most. If my future significant other doesn't understand that, if she can't accept that perhaps we (I) may be called to some unreached area of the world... then we'll both be unhappy, so what's the point?

Posted by stevelee at 11:11 PM | Comments (0)

October 14, 2005

Taking it back to the old school...

Oy... a quick update before I crash:

The offsite was awesome... got to know some co-workers better, learned a lot about the other business units in the company, stayed in a nice villa with breathtaking views of the ocean, and partied like crazy!

Hahaha... I haven't drank like that since my Davis days. It was cool to party with everyone though, including senior management! I can now cross out "drunken karaoke with CEO" off my To Do list, haha. ;)

In many ways, it did remind of the old college parties... a bunch of neighboring houses with doors open, each with different groups drinking, dancing, playing cards and other drinking games... except this time, we didn't have to worry about cops. ;)

Only negative was having to wake up EARLY for the daytime (work-related) sessions. Ugh.

Man... I thought my partying days were over, but apparently it's just lurking under the surface, haha. From the reactions I got from co-workers (almost invariably starting with "you got soooo messed up last night!"), I'm apparently (still) a very happy, friendly, ghetto, and trash-talking/foul-mouthed (to guys) drunk. I also had fun playing bartender, and even senior management stopped by after hearing about my drink-making "abilities." ;)

I didn't win that "New Employee of the Year" award (the well-deserved winner got a NICE big flat-screen TV monitor!), but it was nice of people to come up and congratulate me for the nomination... recognition, especially when not expected, really does help morale. =)

It also was interesting to observe who are the genuinely friendly people, and the ones who are selflish -- the asskissers who worry about their looks and only give you the time of day if they think they can gain something from it.

Posted by stevelee at 08:57 PM | Comments (0)

October 05, 2005

Offsite, Inside

Haha, just found out that I got nominated for "New Employee of the Year" for our company's upcoming offsite. I really don't think I deserve it (but apparently, at least 5 others do)... but have to admit that it does feel kinda nice to be recognized, and have some co-workers say nice things about me. Praise God! =)

I notice a buzz in the air at work... I guess everyone's looking forward to the offsite (read: we're getting paid to party for a few days at some swanky place), and also means the holiday season is around the corner!

Right now... I'd trade it all for a few days of uninterrupted rest and peace...=) I think I'd like to travel somewhere far that I've never been to before by myself (unless I meet that "someone special" by then, of course ;))...
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As some of you know, I'm taking a Perspectives class which has been an awesome class so far. Our guest speaker (Steve Hoke) last night was an insightful and passionate speaker – I wish you guys could have been there! =)

Some of the takeaway points from the evening:

"Missions is not the ultimate purpose of the church.
Worship is.
Missions exists because worship doesn't."

"When we worship God the way we ought, that's when the other nations will listen."

(Tongue-in-cheek) "Evangelize by whatever means necessary… then if all else fails, use words."

As I drove to work today, I passed by a little girl who was walking with her mom to school. She turned to her mom and flashed this huge, whole-hearted, joyful smile – the kind that would melt your heart, especially if you were the parent (I imagine).

What was the difference between this little girl's genuine smiles and my own half-hearted ones? Is it because she's just too young and naive to "know better"? Or could it be that she's so thankful and joyous to be in her parent's presence that nothing else matters?

I imagine that's how God desires for us to look/feel when we look up towards Him in our prayer, worship, and serving... =)

Father God, I pray that I find joy and thanksgiving in all the blessings and tribulations you give me.

Posted by stevelee at 08:50 PM | Comments (0)

October 01, 2005

Heart of Worship

Tonight, a sister who returned from East Asia gave me a gift from one of my students, Sammy. Since Sammy actually was in another class, I didn't have the opportunity to speak with her much, but I remember her as being extremely sweet and cute (not in THAT way you pervs! >.<). I also remember how she remembered me as having a "funny smile" - as in, I was always doing goofy things and smiling a lot. =)

As I read Sammy's letter and admired the beautiful Chinese calligraphy she had written herself, it was hard not to feel a little emotional. Especially when the letter started off with: "I think you will forget me, so I want to give me [sic] a photo of mine" and ended with "Miss Me!" My initial irrational instinct was to somehow go back to East Asia, for her and the other students.

But it was at that moment that I realized how much more faith and trust I needed to place in God, and in His perfect plan. Who am I, and what can I offer these students? Honestly, nothing.

That still doesn't stop me from hurting inside though... I think I take it hard when I feel like I can't help or be there for people I care about.

My sister explained that she had to talk with Sammy through the school gates because she lived in the school, and would have to apply for special permission ahead of time to go outside. It reminded my sister of visiting a prisoner...

...and in a spiritual way, she is.

It made me realize how much more I need to pray for all the students (and unsaved), and how much more of God's presence I need in my life.

Lord, humble me... I know I am weak, and need to rely on you completely for all things.

Posted by stevelee at 01:23 AM | Comments (0)