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April 03, 2005

Love and grace

Hmmm, this is one of those entries where I have no idea where to start, and am still processing...

First, I went on a random photography outing with Heidi... got the chance to play around with my lens and enjoy a beautiful sunset -- a great way to take a much-needed break from work and school. I praise God for being able to share about my family with someone who really understood.

Now that I think about it, this whole weekend was about family in some form...

First, and most importantly, my mom came out for today's service! Honestly, I know the main reason she came out was to listen/support me as I played cello as part of the communion service. But I'm just so happy that she came out; I pray that this is only the beginning. =)

She was feeling a little shy, so as we got up (so I could introduce my mom to the congregation), I put an arm around my mom, drew her close, and introduced her as: "This beautiful lady is my mom." =)

The amazing thing is... I truly meant it! For the first time in a long time, I didn't think of any of the pain or hurt she had caused me in the past. I just thought and remembered her as the mother who had given me life, and supported me through my dark, turbulent times.

If you know my family history, you know what a big deal this is. Praise God for the healing and grace he poured upon my family and me... and I pray for more of His Holy presence to fill this household.

I'm also thankful to my congregation family for taking care of my mom while I was busy taking care of Alliance Cafe. =)

But do you know what I praise God the most for? Pastor Wayne spoke on the need for God's grace and healing to reconcile broken relationships... especially in families. That these broken relationships affect our own perception and relationship to God. A powerful and emotional message that spoke to many in the congregation.

...including my mom. She remarked to me later: "Today's message was good."

Afterwards, a large bunch of us career fellowship folks went out to lunch. As we hung out, I was struck by how much these guys have come to mean to me. I love and care for the community as a whole, but I'm especially thankful for my career fellowship. =) I've really grown to be really fond/affectionate of Lawrence, Sharon, and a few others... I can't explain why.

Selfishly, I prayed that nothing would change and we would all grow old together... I will miss everyone if/when I leave for China for missions...
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My close friends know that I've felt emotionally ready (eager?) to be a father for a while now... in God's time, of course, when I meet that special lady and all. Hehe. ;)

I haven't thought about relationships for a long while until Friday... I think it's very interesting (no coincidence!) that I then get asked by the youth pastor to consider being a mentor for the youth... and that during Sunday School, Pastor Wayne talked about finding a mentor, and discipling others.

Prior to this, I also felt like I was not ready to be a spiritual mentor/discipler for others yet... in fact, as I played with baby joshua today, a little part of me wondered how to raise a Christian family. But, I sense God's hand in all these recent events. =)
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To keep this entry from becoming a complete sap fest (yeah, I know... too late ;)), after lunch, most of the career fellowship folks there (plus a few other guests) went to play football (tied with hockey for best sport ever). I think everyone had an awesome time -- props to the ladies who braved the rain and soggy conditions to play with us!

Hopefully, we'll continue playing football or baseball on a weekly basis... I need the exercise to get back in shape! =)

Posted by stevelee at April 3, 2005 10:03 PM

Comments

Posted by: c at April 5, 2005 12:30 PM

Posted by: steve lee at April 7, 2005 07:24 PM

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