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April 18, 2005
I walk a lonely road
(Sorry about the cheesy, melodramatic title... take a wild guess what song I'm listening to. ;))
As I process the pictures I took at Leon's birthday/housewarming party, I realize that I got so caught up in taking pictures that I didn't really get the chance to socialize much at the party. At least, not until the very end when I packed up my camera and chilled with the guys... but by that point, I was completely exhausted.
I can't quite say that I regret it though... I know that if I spent the entire time socializing, I would regret "not taking enough pictures." I suppose in a way, I've always been struggling with that: living in the present versus getting caught up in my duties.
I've always been task-oriented, and at my best (socially and otherwise) when kept busy (probably due to my getting bored easily). Yet, I know that I have to find a happy medium between the two.
I'm working on it... (why can't there be two of me?? ;)) both for my social sake (I already suck enough keeping in touch) and because God desires us to minister to others.
I've also been thinking about relationships again... specifically, wondering if I need to be more "intentional" (to borrow an oft-used term in Christian circles ;p) in my interactions/relationships with the ladies (hypothetically speaking) I might be interested in? In the past, it was easy(-ier): I was, for the most part, pretty aggressive -- if things clicked, cool; if not, oh well, time to move on. But because I do care about the people I come across, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings (and vice-versa) and am genuinely trying to get to know everyone as friends. But I wonder if I'm being too passive?
I'm still not in any rush or desire to be in a relationship -- particularly not just for the sake of being in one -- but... yeah.
"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." (John 13:34-35)
Switching gears... there's this high school guy at church I've had a chance to chat and joke around with the past few weeks. Really nice and sweet guy, kinda shy, but very sincere. I feel comfortable messing around with him, like I would with a younger kid brother... and I get this vibe that he's observing me (like you would an older/respected figure... not that I consider myself either! ;p)
In my last entry I talked about spiritual discipleship/mentoring and how I've never had the opportunity to disciple/be discipled myself. Well, I definitely think it no coincidence that the youth pastor asked me if I would consider discipling this same guy!
...God works in mysterious ways. =)
Posted by stevelee at April 18, 2005 11:04 PM
Comments
sorry, I would like to know what song were you listen when you wrotte this... thanks a lot
Posted by: me at June 12, 2005 04:09 PM
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