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March 15, 2005

This is my desire...

...to honor you (God)!

"He that loveth not, knoweth not God; for God is love." - 1 John 4:8

One of the things that God revealed to me during WCC was that I had not forgiven my family -- I still held onto painful memories and emotional scars of the past in my heart. This prevented me from truly opening up and loving them.

God blessed me by allowing me to experience a taste of being in His presence and feeling His love; but he also placed a burden to heal myself (and my family).

Tonight was my mom's birthday, and I decided to take her out for dinner. While on the way to the restaurant, my mom started lecturing my brother, which he didn't appreciate. It escalated to yelling between the two, ending with my brother throwing the car keys at my mom's feet and storming off, and my mom furiously picking up the keys and going back to the car.

As I walked back to the car, I prayed for God to intercede and give me the strength and wisdom to respond to the situation. When I got back to the car, my mom was inside, crying.

I listened. Both to her and what God placed in my heart. When she calmed down, I asked if I could pray for us. I embraced her and began praying: for God's presence in our broken family, for healing the deep pain and hurt, for forgiveness, for the desire to understand and love each other better... Then, I started crying too... and apologized for not being a good son -- for not understanding and loving her as much as I should.

Later, after we all calmed down, I asked my mom if she would be interested in coming to Sunday service... and she said yes! Praise the Lord!

God truly is a faithful, awesome God! One of the things I struggled (and prayed) about was how to reveal to my mom that I planned on taking unpaid leave from work to go to China for a missions trip. But in tonight's experience, I know that God planted a seed in her heart to understand His heart, and my desire to serve Him.

Thank you all for reading this, and please... continue keeping my family and I in your prayers. =)

Blessings to you all.

Posted by stevelee at March 15, 2005 11:32 PM

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