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March 22, 2005

Have You Ever...

...loved somebody so much/It makes you cry?

That's how I feel with God. I'm not saying this to show off or proclaim how "holy" I am -- far from it -- but it amazes me how I can feel this way about something/someone I can't even see or touch.

All my life, I've been the sort of person who needed to see something with my own eyes in order to believe... the sort of person who learned best from getting "hands on" and interacting with the object directly.

It's breathtaking to consider my (lack of) faith when I was younger -- the constant void that I tried to fill with all kinds of activities and relationships, ranging from innocent to sinful. I was the prototypical "Sunday Christian" -- Christian in name, but nothing close to that in actual faith and deeds.

I'm not going to lie and say that I'm always thinking about God and living this sin-free life or anything, but... I have this deep and constant hunger for God. I desire to learn more about Him, to live a life that pleases Him... but mostly, I just want to be with Him.

While working today, the chorus of Wonderful Maker suddenly came into my thoughts... my heart got tight (like a heartache you get when you're really missing a loved one) and I had to take a break to pray and refocus on my work.

A good friend recently remarked to me: "You have this amazing ability to fully believe in something... to be very passionate and full of conviction..." (something along those lines)

On an increasingly frequent basis, I wonder if God is calling me to full-time ministry. I just find no lasting satisfaction with the stuff I do in the secular world...

Wonderful Maker (by Chris Tomlin)
Chorus:
What a wonderful Maker
What a wonderful Savior
How majestic Your whispers
How humble Your love
With a strength like no other
and a heart of a Father
How majestic Your whispers
What a wonderful God

Posted by stevelee at March 22, 2005 10:57 PM

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