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March 28, 2005
Dude, we're old! ;)
Too tired to write anything right now... but here are a few pictures from recent events. =)
Tammie and John's baby shower - congrats you two! =)
Jack's birthday get-together
Posted by stevelee at 11:16 PM | Comments (0)
March 22, 2005
Have You Ever...
...loved somebody so much/It makes you cry?
That's how I feel with God. I'm not saying this to show off or proclaim how "holy" I am -- far from it -- but it amazes me how I can feel this way about something/someone I can't even see or touch.
All my life, I've been the sort of person who needed to see something with my own eyes in order to believe... the sort of person who learned best from getting "hands on" and interacting with the object directly.
It's breathtaking to consider my (lack of) faith when I was younger -- the constant void that I tried to fill with all kinds of activities and relationships, ranging from innocent to sinful. I was the prototypical "Sunday Christian" -- Christian in name, but nothing close to that in actual faith and deeds.
I'm not going to lie and say that I'm always thinking about God and living this sin-free life or anything, but... I have this deep and constant hunger for God. I desire to learn more about Him, to live a life that pleases Him... but mostly, I just want to be with Him.
While working today, the chorus of Wonderful Maker suddenly came into my thoughts... my heart got tight (like a heartache you get when you're really missing a loved one) and I had to take a break to pray and refocus on my work.
A good friend recently remarked to me: "You have this amazing ability to fully believe in something... to be very passionate and full of conviction..." (something along those lines)
On an increasingly frequent basis, I wonder if God is calling me to full-time ministry. I just find no lasting satisfaction with the stuff I do in the secular world...
Wonderful Maker (by Chris Tomlin)
Chorus:
What a wonderful Maker
What a wonderful Savior
How majestic Your whispers
How humble Your love
With a strength like no other
and a heart of a Father
How majestic Your whispers
What a wonderful God
Posted by stevelee at 10:57 PM | Comments (0)
March 15, 2005
This is my desire...
...to honor you (God)!
"He that loveth not, knoweth not God; for God is love." - 1 John 4:8
One of the things that God revealed to me during WCC was that I had not forgiven my family -- I still held onto painful memories and emotional scars of the past in my heart. This prevented me from truly opening up and loving them.
God blessed me by allowing me to experience a taste of being in His presence and feeling His love; but he also placed a burden to heal myself (and my family).
Tonight was my mom's birthday, and I decided to take her out for dinner. While on the way to the restaurant, my mom started lecturing my brother, which he didn't appreciate. It escalated to yelling between the two, ending with my brother throwing the car keys at my mom's feet and storming off, and my mom furiously picking up the keys and going back to the car.
As I walked back to the car, I prayed for God to intercede and give me the strength and wisdom to respond to the situation. When I got back to the car, my mom was inside, crying.
I listened. Both to her and what God placed in my heart. When she calmed down, I asked if I could pray for us. I embraced her and began praying: for God's presence in our broken family, for healing the deep pain and hurt, for forgiveness, for the desire to understand and love each other better... Then, I started crying too... and apologized for not being a good son -- for not understanding and loving her as much as I should.
Later, after we all calmed down, I asked my mom if she would be interested in coming to Sunday service... and she said yes! Praise the Lord!
God truly is a faithful, awesome God! One of the things I struggled (and prayed) about was how to reveal to my mom that I planned on taking unpaid leave from work to go to China for a missions trip. But in tonight's experience, I know that God planted a seed in her heart to understand His heart, and my desire to serve Him.
Thank you all for reading this, and please... continue keeping my family and I in your prayers. =)
Blessings to you all.
Posted by stevelee at 11:32 PM | Comments (0)
March 09, 2005
Abiding in Christ
[These pictures (taken by Manus) do a great job capturing the events and mood of WCC.]
"I am the vine, ye are the branches. He that abideth in me, and I in him, bringeth forth much fruit; apart from me, ye can do nothing." -John 15:5
The last two weeks have been crazy: besides trying to meet deadlines for complicated projects, it seemed that my nights were busy/stressful too (Final Fantasy concert notwithstanding). Combined with a cold, I just felt drained and sleep-deprived. =(
More importantly than the lack of personal time and sleep, I wasn't able to spend as much time as I wanted with God... and I felt like I was separated from a loved one (which really was the case).
So tonight, after finishing an intense session of debugging code, I went to my favorite study spot... and spent the night meditating on God's word and praying/listening to Him.
Man... I felt so renewed after that! It's just so awesome to know that I can rely on Him for all the strength and support I need, in light of my own weaknesses. I pray that I continue to hunger for the Lord and centering my life on Him! =)
I studied Galatians tonight, and it's amazing how powerfully this book speaks to me, especially chapters 5 and 6. If any of you are facing problems with grace, faith, and temptation, I encourage you to read this.
"For brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another." -Gal. 5:13
"Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." -Psa. 139:23-24
Posted by stevelee at 09:17 PM | Comments (0)
March 07, 2005
Dear Friends... music from Final Fantasy
Tonight's Final Fantasy concert was awesome; although tickets were expensive, there's no way I could let this opportunity slip as a huge fan of the series! =)
I really have to appreciate Nobuo Uematsu (composer and producer for most of the Final Fantasy music), not just for his music, but for his desire to introduce symphonic music to the youth. It amazed me how supportive and enthusiastic the audience was -- virtually every piece ended to a thunderous and sustained round of applause and cheers. Even the performers themselves seemed surprised by the applause!
As a side note, it would be awesome if more Christians are as passionate about God as they are about other things... (not a judgement mind you)
Perhaps the only real criticism -- a sentiment that seemed to be shared by many of the fans -- was the choice of MC: some blonde, female courtside announcer for the Sacramento Kings. She admitted to not being a gamer, let alone familiar with the Final Fantasy series, and this became painfully obvious. Comments such as "I need to go to (video game related events) more often, there are a lot of good-looking guys here!" and other attempts to be funny came off as inane and insulting to most of the audience, including the females (which made up a surprisingly large percentage of the audience).
The concert started off with a disappointingly flat, uninspired rendition of Liberi Fatali (Final Fantasy VIII). The Symphony Silicon Valley and San Jose State University Chorale did not seem to connect with the music -- or perhaps more precisely, take the music seriously -- and I was preparing for an entire night of disappointing performances.
However, once the symphony launched into Zanarkand (FF X), the audience listened (and watched cutscenes from the game) raptly... and responded with the first of many appreciative rounds of applause. I think hearing and seeing this support inspired the performers to play with more passion, and I could hear the difference!
As the symphony performed the various pieces, I got the impression that most, if not all, the audience were reminiscing about the same scenes (and associated emotions) from the game... which was pretty cool. =) Hard to describe, especially if you're not a fan... perhaps another one of those "you had to be there" moments.
Here's the rest of the program:
Terra's Theme (FF VI)
Theme Of Love (FF IV)
Dear Friends (FF V)
Vamo' Alla Flamenco (FF IX) [great solo guitar performance]
Love Grows (FF VIII)
Aeris's Theme (FF VII) [audience loved this]
Not Alone (FF IX)
Ronfaure (FF XI) [ahhhh, the countless hours I wasted here...]
Final Fantasy I-III Medley [audience REALLY loved this]
New Melody from Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
Final Fantasy [I didn't think it was possible for the audience to clap any louder...]
Nobuo Uematsu then spoke to the extremely appreciative crowd (we practically gave a standing ovation to every one of his sentences! LOL!) -- he was energetic and humerous -- before giving way to a final, encore performance of Sephiroth. What better way to end the night (although the audience was hungry for more!) then with a song as popular, epic-sounding, and triumphant as this?
Posted by stevelee at 11:20 PM | Comments (1)