« DHTML popup translator for Chinese, Japanese and Korean | Main | Company Christmas Party »
December 06, 2004
Building up communities
Last Sunday, Law spoke about "Redefining Church" and the building up of communities. Essentially, as we grow in a certain community, we (should?) develop a natural desire to move from independence (or even dependence) to interdependence with other members of the community. We also begin valuing the relationships we build within that community - placing those relationships ahead of "getting things done." We begin revealing our needs, while responding to the needs of others. Law brought up many other thought-provoking points and challenges, but for the purposes of this entry, not so relevant. =)
I found the timing of this message interesting, because I had recently been reflecting on my own relationships with various groups of friends.
I suppose I've always been an open person... in that if someone asked me a specific question, I would answer truthfully. But other than with certain close friends, I really never initiated sharing my innermost thoughts and demons with others. I suppose part of me felt that there was no need to bring that stuff up, and other part wanted to keep a certain image around them - that I was this nice, good boy... (which I really am... just with a slight dash of freak ;))
In a sense, I realize now I was denying myself... and that's probably why I felt so unhappy or uncomfortable with certain groups in the past. Why, for example, I could never share my testimony or pray in public before my current church.
But, I'm discovering for myself that the more I open up -- to become more transparent, so to speak -- the more... free I feel. As the "need" to maintain a certain image diminishes, I feel more relaxed and comfortable. Which I'm sure helps people feel the same around me. =)
(Or maybe I'm just at the point where I don't give a crap (not as much, at least...) what people think about me anymore?? Hehe.)
With that said, I'm still not quite ready to share about some of the crazier things I've done... when I met up with a new friend and she asked me about my sex life, I still fumbled over my words! ...But I'm at the point where if someone from church asked me a direct question, I wouldn't dance around it.
With this new attitude towards my relationship with my church/fellowship, I feel like all my different worlds/communities are coming together... that I really can be myself, all the time.
With minor differences, of course. ;)
By no coincidence, I've also felt really social recently -- probably the most social I've felt since my college days! In addition to building up those relationships at fellowship, just continuing to meet all sorts of cool people. =)
Crap, it's 12:30 already... so much for getting lots of sleep tonight. *sigh*
Posted by stevelee at December 6, 2004 12:23 AM
Comments
There is a certain amount of discretion we must use when presenting ourselves. And you're right, it isn't until we are truly accepting of ourselves that we can proudly stand tall to be who we are. I hope you progress further on that special road.
PS Undacova no more!
Posted by: mare at December 6, 2004 04:39 PM
Very true. I'm not about to run around telling people about personal details, esp. if there's no reason to, and it involves other people. Plus, there is the whole idea of leaving something up "in print"... which is why even in this post, I kinda danced around a bit.
I'm still debating whether I should remove certain sentences to make sure it doesn't come back to haunt me, hehe.
Posted by: steve lee at December 6, 2004 07:41 PM
P.S. I have no idea what you're talking about! *halo*
Posted by: steve lee at December 6, 2004 07:42 PM
:P
Posted by: mare at December 7, 2004 01:42 PM
your growth spiritually and in finding yourself is inspiring. i hope you continue to share openly and feel confident and strong in your convictions.
Posted by: milly at December 11, 2004 11:45 PM
Post a comment
Thanks for signing in, . Now you can comment. (sign out)
(If you haven't left a comment here before, you may need to be approved by the site owner before your comment will appear. Until then, it won't appear on the entry. Thanks for waiting.)