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November 29, 2003
More Thanksgiving stuff!
Just came back from a potluck with my career fellowship group -- it was nice to bond together in an environment where we were all simply there to enjoy each other's company. =)
We had good food (people loved my Chicken Saltimbocca! =D), played an ice breaker, helped decorate our hosts' Christmas tree (haha, don't ask), and just chatted/goofed around the rest of the evening.
I wish I spent more time with the people I normally don't have a chance to talk/hang out with much though... =( I really want to get to know everyone in the fellowship, and not just the same bunch of clowns, hehe. ;p
Anyway, enough jibber jabber... enjoy the pictures! Need to study and get some sleep... playing basketball (*gasp* yeah, me playing basketball!) with some of the guys tomorrow morning!
(Why does EVERYONE play ball at Lowell??)
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UPDATE: It's taken more than a month, but I finally finished my FIRST PASS through the pictures I took at John and Tammie's wedding! I usually go through a 3 step screening/editing process... but when you have almost 2 gigs of pictures, it take a bit longer, hehe. =p
I think it's OK to share these pictures publically... more to come. Maybe. =)
Posted by stevelee at 12:44 AM | Comments (0)
November 28, 2003
Happy Thanksgiving!
...A little late, but Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Hope everyone is feeling stuffed and happy... even if you still have to work tomorrow (suckers!!! haha ;))!
Some (internet shy) family members and a friend (and her friend) came over for dinner tonight. =) I made cornbread stuffing with sausage and apples which everyone seemed to like (haha, this definitely wasn't "healthy" or light!), and Thai fried corn cakes -- rather salty, but still yummy! I also really liked my cousin E's sweet potatoes with marshmellows... yummy, but soooo unhealthy... hahaha, like most everything else at dinner! ;)
I have to say, this was a special Thanksgiving for me. I have so much to be thankful for -- but first and foremost would be how my life's changed for the better. I'm thankful for finding my new spiritual home, for my newfound confidence and optimism on life (I've said it before, I'll say it again: I'm in the best shape of my life physically, emotionally and spiritually). I'm thankful that my family seems to be growing closer, I'm thankful for these get-togethers where I get to spend time with my family (especially my cousins! =))... I'm thankful to all of my friends who continue keeping in touch despite how much I suck at that!
While cleaning my room, I came across a bunch of letters and cards from friends (JJ, come back to SF so we can do our fobby things together!)... and that made me realize how lucky I am to have such great friends. So I started text messaging my friends (some of you got me before I could get to you! =)).
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...I played football again today with people from church (and some friends) -- rematch of the old fogeys versus the high school/college kids. It was awesome! As usual, I completely shut down whoever I lined up against at corner -- it felt damn good when I moved to cover the other team's best WR and I heard things like: "Don't worry about that side, Steve's got him." =D
On offense, we finally figured out how to take advantage of my speed and stone hands: hand me the damn ball. =p Can we say: BIG DAY BABY?!?! One play had me lined up as a RB... we ran a simple off-tackle, and I outran everyone for a 60 yard touchdown! Another big play was a hook and ladder: my friend caught the pass and immediately lateral-ed the ball to me (haha, we ran this play all the time when I played for Lowell), which I ran for a 40 yard touchdown... I celebrated this one with a Heisman trophy pose! Hehe. Last big play was a reverse for about 30 yards... if we were playing tackle, that would've been a touchdown for sure! =)
Still have crap hands though... on one play, I signalled the QB to just kinda launch a pass behind the coverage -- I had a few steps on the defenders and was wide open in the middle, but the ball slipped out of my fingers!! Argh... I need some sticky gloves, hehe.
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Sigh... no matter how old and "wise" I become, life still confuses me just as much. Particularly where relationships are concerned. I want answers, I want to know where things stand, but I know that certain things can't be forced... they have to be revealed in their own time.
I notice that whenever things become uncertain or my feelings aren't as strongly reciprocated, I tend to give up easily... with the attitude of "why waste time here when I can pursue someone who makes it clear how she feels about me?"
But, I'm tired of being wishy washy (that's what it is, really)... just need to pray that God guides me to making the right decision.
Posted by stevelee at 01:10 AM | Comments (4)
November 24, 2003
More music stuff!
2 random observations:
1) My voice still sucks! Haha... =/
2) Listening to some of the other students in class confirms that having an expressive voice is more important (to me) than a voice which hits all the notes correctly, but sounds flat, emotionally. Well obviously both are important, but I think if you have an expressive voice and/or stage presence, then you can engage people enough to make them overlook (or hear, as it were) pitch miscues. =)
In my own practice in front of the class, I started off a little timid and flat... towards the end, when I relaxed and started singing with more feeling, I sounded louder and "brighter." Need to practice more, basically. =)
In hindsight, I think I chose the wrong song for my voice... but that's OK, it'll force me to expand my comfort zone, right? Hopefully my singing skills will improve!
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I'm playing football again this thursday morning, contact me if you'd like to play with us!
Posted by stevelee at 04:57 PM | Comments (2)
November 22, 2003
Thanksgiving Retreat
I spent all day and most of the evening today at my church's Thanksgiving retreat. It was an awesome event -- full of praise, worship, sharing, serving, and bonding! =)
I have so much to be thankful for: this past year really opened my eyes to everything that God has blessed me with, and I just pray that I continue growing in Him with a loving and teachable heart.
I mentioned in a previous entry about how God has been calling me to serve others, in the form of the service/welcome ministry. Today was no different, and I'm thankful that I got to talk/goof around with my brothers and sisters. =)
Beyond this, it seems that God has also been calling on me to perform! Haha, I know I keep on joking about "running off to join Broadway," but God's really brought music back to my life in a huge way this year! First the vocal class, then the singing for the Parents Appreciation Night... then I was asked if I would like to play cello again...
Today, I went in front of the English congregation to do a reading of Psalms 100. God really spoke through me, as I memorized the passage and spoke from the heart... apparently it must have touched lots of people, because so many thanked me afterwards for sharing that "dramatic interpretation!" The music/worship leader came up to make sure that I was a part of the drama team... and tried convincing me to take a larger role! Haha. =) My pastor also hinted at wanting me to read more scripture during services!
I dunno... probably the biggest sign that I have finally matured as a performer came during my scripture reading. From the very first basic music/performing arts class you take, the teacher will always stress the importance of not reacting to mistakes -- that the "show must go on." I could never do that in all my years of playing cello... if I messed up, my expression would reveal it, or I'd actually stop playing! Today, I completely blanked out at 2 areas... but instead of panicking and reacting, I continued to calmly look everyone in the eye... locking them in the mood of that moment, until the words finally came back to me. =)
I also thought about the time I spoke at an APO sectionals conference -- about a year ago -- where I just absolutely sucked and fell apart trying to speak in front of that large audience. I've come a long way since then. =)
Confidence, conviction, and a teachable heart. I really have nothing to fear or worry about, because I know that God will provide. Everything happens for a reason... just like the fact that my summer Asia trip got cancelled, and now that my Hawaii plans look in limbo... this clearly seems like God's telling me not to travel far! =/
Posted by stevelee at 08:46 PM | Comments (1)
November 16, 2003
Flower Drum Song
So, what beats lots of good singing? How about lots of good singing and dancing? And what beats a light, fun musical? How about a light, fun musical filled with lots of cute Asians??
Awww yeah baby, now you're talkin' my language! ;)
I met up with some friends today to watch the remake of Rodgers and Hammerstein's Flower Drum Song up in Sac.
You can read the plot summary, but it's basically about a girl, Mei-Li, who braves the oceans for a new life in San Francisco's Chinatown. She falls for the son of the Opera House owner (her father's friend), but he can't return those feelings, since he's struggling with his Chinese and American identities. Basically, the whole musical is somehow centered around this identity conflict -- the clashing of old traditions versus new. Of course, everything is neatly and happily tied together at the end... I swear I'm such a sucker for emotional/romantic endings! =/
But back to the hot Asian girls -- wow, a whole bunch of scantily clad women dancing and singing?? I had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming! Oh, and the last number where they all were wearing red cheung saam (long traditional Chinese wedding dresses)... with a huge slit?! Oh my! *drool*
I just wish I rented the binoculars so I could better ...umm, study the actresses' expressions! ;)
Hahaha, no no... in all seriousness, I was impressed by all the performers' level of talent! Especially by tenor Jose LLana's voice, who had the lead role as Wang Ta. Watching this show reminded me of how few opportunities exist for Asian Americans to showcase their talents here, sadly enough. Other than specialized musicals such as this and Miss Saigon, and various bit parts (e.g., Eponine from Les Miz), Asian Americans still don't get the recognition they deserve.
I've always been proud and supportive of Asian American Studies/History/Movements, but watching this musical made me more determined to support current and future Asian American productions!
...Off-topic observation: while reading through the cast's credits, it seems like all of them either were on Law & Order, Sex in the City, or both! One of them (James Saito) played Shredder from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! Cool!!! Hahaha...
By the way... does anyone have a mp3 (just kidding, Mr. RIAA agent!) copy of Andrea Bocelli singing "Io con te partido/Time to say Goodbye?" Yes, I'm thinking about singing this... hehe. =p (Oh God help us all!)
Posted by stevelee at 10:42 PM | Comments (2)
November 15, 2003
Call to Serve
Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. Everyone has a calling in life -- it just might take longer for some to find and accept these callings than others. For myself, it seems that no matter how much I try avoiding the responsibility, I find myself gravitating back towards serving others in a leadership role.
I try deflecting attention by flippantly claiming: "Oh, I don't want the responsibility. Just give me the brainless work!" Yet, for whatever odd reasons people still have confidence in my ability to lead and organize others. This was the case for Alpha Phi Omega, for work (my unit Director constantly "encouraged" me to go into the Project/Program Manager side), and now church.
Over the past few months, I found myself helping out with the Alliance Cafe. To me, it was perfect: I got to keep myself busy AND meet more members of the church -- from the cute little kids to the elders! I also had the opportunity to welcome new faces who were in my shoes -- a person surrounded by strangers, looking for one friendly face to make them feel more comfortable.
A few nights ago, I met with the other helpers at the Alliance Cafe. (By the way, we ate at Vanida Thai Kitchen, this hidden gem on 41st Ave. and Taraval; good stuff!!) Basically, the talk centered around transforming this Alliance Cafe to a real ministry, part of the Welcome/Service ministry. Of course, I initially balked at being involved in more than a "brainess, operations" capacity (i.e., serving food ;)). But I think it became clear that I strongly believed in the "vision"... and I guess I just couldn't say no after being asked so sincerely to be a part of the core group.
*sigh* =)
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All my friends know how much I suck at calling and keeping in touch with them. Yet, regardless of the time or distance, I have the ability to reconnect with them all. I also seem to have the ability to empathize and relate to everyone; one of the comments I always get is: "Wow, I feel so comfortable chatting/talking with you. Feels like we've known each other for years!"
In keeping with the service theme above, it also seems that one of my roles in life is to listen, be a comforter and source of strength for those around me. I have faults and weaknesses -- I definitely don't have "all the answers" -- but that doesn't stop people from talking to me about their problems anyway.
I think in the past, I got bitter about this: "always the friend, never the lover." But while chatting with a friend just now, I finally realized how God blessed me with this gift. After relating my suicidal and sad past to her, I finally saw it as a blessing rather than curse: the ability to reach out and make people feel loved and welcome. To be a cheerleader and help them see the positives in life.
I feel blessed that people are comfortable sharing their lives, insecurities and fears with me... and when I see them start filling with hope and/or self-acceptance, I feel doubly blessed.
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Good things continue to brew in my life... feeling very happy, but also preparing myself for disappointment ("Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.") I've been down this path before, only to come out with nothing to show for it -- other than yet more resigned sighs.
I'm not bitter or anything... probably tired more than anything else. As one of my lil sis says: "I'm just tired of playing the game." Honestly, the whole "kid in a candy store" mentality of singlehood always will remain fun and exciting -- OK OK, so I'll admit just this once that I'm a flirt, happy?!
(But no, that doesn't mean I'm flirting all the time! Sheesh people, I swear you all think I'm some shameless flirt! *poke Jackie* =( Just being friendly... although yes, she was hella cute! Haha.)
But all that pales in comparison to having that special someone in your life: to talk on the phone with until 7am, to stay out until 4am just wandering the city and chatting/laughing some more, to call you out on your BS, to share new adventures with, to teach you Chinese to become a better speaker than your younger brother... ;)
Ahh well, God reveals all things in time.
Posted by stevelee at 01:52 PM | Comments (2)
November 10, 2003
Elf: Revolutions
[2AM update, instead of coding]
OMG, these CDs on how to harmonize are like the coolest things ever!!! I downloaded the 2 sample tracks and literally have spent the past half hour listening to them over and over! Hahahaha, and I swear I'm having so much fun doing it!
If someone buys me these CDs, I'll love you for life! ;D
Oh yeah! Linda, I'll try to get a clip of our group singing up just for you! Hehe.
Note to self: remember to get a copy of "Knees To The Earth", a really sweet duet!
[/end update, instead of coding]
Man, I'm actually starting to eat (I can't say enjoy yet) more fish of my own accord! Tried some salmon on Saturday, and Ahi tonight! Interesting textures... sheesh... hell hath half frozen over!
...The other half will freeze when I willingly order (and eat) a seafood main entree! =x
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Watched Matrix: Revolutions and Elf over the weekend. Matrix was about as bad as I expected it to be, so no disappointment there... it definitely was an improvement over the 2nd movie, but that's not saying much.
The dialogue and acting in Matrix were both cheesy and terrible -- sooooo many pointless lines and "romantic" scenes. To be fair, these scenes weren't nearly as puke-inducing and awkward as the ones between Anakin and Padmé in Episode 2! ...But once again, that's not saying much. =/
At least I was in the company of a cute geekette (a Stanford EE PhD candidate, no less!), so we shared snickers and expressions of disbelief/disgust. Haha.
I found Elf a much more entertaining movie. It's a silly kid's movie, so don't expect a good plot or anything... but be prepared for a big dose of Will Ferrell! I think of all the recent SNL "grads," Ferrell has the best comedic timing and dynamics... he does a good job playing stupid roles, without making viewers cringe!
It was heartwarming to see and hear the kids next to me squeal and laugh in delight at the movie. =) There was this one scene where Ferrell gives a huge hug to his dad... at that moment, the little girl next to me turned to her dad and gave a huge hug to his arm! That was so cute and sweet! =)
Made me wonder about their family... what they did to raise such affectionate children. ...And how much I crave that for my own future family... daddy's little girl. Haha... =) Hopefully I don't spoil them as much as some other girls I know...Elaine and Craig, you know what I'm talking about! ;)
Ahh well, but that's a completely different entry. The holiday season is here folks, and I can already feel Christmas in the air!
Posted by stevelee at 12:22 AM | Comments (7)
November 09, 2003
Parents Appreciation Night
I've been really busy of late, so my apologies for the lack of updates! For some reason, there's been a lot more people hitting up my site (you poor, bored people!! ;))... so this update's for you! Plus, the magical words I know you're all looking forward to: pictures are coming! Hehe.
School's been keeping me busier than I expected -- it's amazing how much work (for so few units) you go through, or sleep you lose, in CS classes!
So someone please explain to me why I didn't go for my masters instead?? Oh yeah, because I'm a dumbass. Haha. *sigh*
Beyond school, my personal and social life's been good. Lot of potential things brewing... we'll see. =) Mostly just sticking to my philosophy of relaxing and enjoying everything that life has to offer!
Random thought: it's funny when people tell me that I can be such a smooth talker/charmer... hahaha. Especially considering how much I dislike sales! If they only really knew, eh? ;p But, I guess I can see that when I'm "feeling it."
I also spent the past week preparing for tonight's Parents Appreciation Night, hosted by the career fellowship group at church. It was an awesome experience: everyone did a great job preparing for the event, and the decorations, gifts, food, and program were just perfect! I sang "Thank You" by the Katinas with some others... all the practice (and prayer!) paid off, because I really think we glorified God and our parents with our performance!
...And yes, this was another opportunity to ham it up... no, I didn't do anything crazy -- I just wanted people to see my expressive, passionate side. =) Along with my goofier side during our practices! Hehe.
I'm really happy that both my parents went... and that I had a chance to express my love for them in song and words. The funny thing is, while setting up the tables, I sat my dad next to someone else's father (didn't know him)... and it turned out that they knew each other from tennis! Once again, I think this is God talking... that He has a plan in all of this.
In the meantime, I just have to continue working on my patience towards them! For example, I woke up early to make them a surprise breakfast in bed today: home-made sausages with fennel and maple syrup, thick French Toast with fresh 3 berry compote (this was yummy!!) and mimosas (probably added too large a "splash" of Triple Sec *grin*)!
So anyway, I cook up all this food, clean up... they love it, but later, my mom comes to offer some cooking suggestions for next time. My initial reaction is to become defensive and take offense (I was thinking: "hey, why can't you appreciate that I woke up hella early to cook for you??")... but later, after just calming down and taking a deep breath, I go to my mom and give her a hug... thanking her for the advice.
Posted by stevelee at 02:03 AM | Comments (0)
November 01, 2003
Joys of God (and football)
Well, combined fellowship with the high school, college and career groups last night was lots more fun than I expected! In addition to the potluck, we played an icebreaker, had a great worship session, and most of us stuck around afterwards to just chat and stuff. I didn't end up leaving until 11ish, when most everyone else did... great, clean fun. =)
As the same time I'm learning how to become a better servant of God, I'm also trying to become a better servant to others at the church. I've been helping out with the refreshment team in between service and Sunday school -- I love it because it not only keeps me busy, but I get a great opportunity to talk and interact with a lot of the church family! From the cute little kids to the older adults, I get to meet almost everyone... and it's cool that more people are recognizing and feeling comfortable around me. Praise God. =)
I have a bunch of things coming up... I'm taking both of my parents to a Parents Appreciation Night at the church (you long time readers know that I don't have the best relationship with them... please pray for us! =)), where I'll be singing and participating in a skit. I'm also being recruited to sing, act, and possibly play the cello for some upcoming holiday celebrations. I'm looking forward to it!
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Met up with some guys (and a girl... go Liberty!) from church to play football today. It was a total blast... I almost forgot how much I LOVE playing football! The teams were divided into old versus young (high school and college), and I think us old folks showed the kids what heart and determination were all about! Hehe.
Plus, it helped that we had a few former high school football players on our team, and most of us were still in pretty good shape. =) My teammates were awesome! As usual, I made my presence felt on defense: I played corner/safety, and my guy was shut down completely... I was all over the field, and made some great tackle/stops, including 2 awesome sacks for huge losses! That was a rush!
I actually think I'm a better cover corner now than I was in high school, since I have the legs and speed now. Go figure. =)
I also contributed on offense! Clearly, I was one of the fastest guys...it felt good to constantly hear: "Cover blue, someone help out on blue!" (that'd be me, thankyouverymuch! ;)) Sadly, my stonehands and I (that's why I quickly got moved from WR to DB in high school, haha) dropped too many catchable deep balls, but I did catch a slant for 30ish yards, and another that should've been a TD... if I didn't step out of bounds! Grrr, small field. Ahh well. =)
Hahaha, the biggest difference between now and then was how all us old folks were hobbling by the end of the game! =p Man, my knees, back and neck were feeling it big time! Oy, waking up for church tomorrow's going to suck!
Posted by stevelee at 06:12 PM | Comments (3)